The Joy Of The Lightbulb Moment
I spent a long time blaming the past for the present. I over ate, I was angry, sad, depressed and full of self pity. I blamed this on events from my childhood, convinced myself that if only my parents hadn't divorced I wouldn't be sad, if I hadn't had a difficult relationship with my stepdad I wouldn't over eat yadda yadda yadda. Then there was a lightbulb moment. I was, as per usual, bemoaning to my husband about how unattractive I felt, how awful I looked in my clothes, how I hated being fat. He looked me right in the eye. Lucy, he said, you know you are overweight, I know you are overweight, I love you regardless of your weight, you are beautiful regardless of what size clothes you are wearing but if you are unhappy change it because no one can do it for you. That's when it hit me. I didn't over eat because of my childhood, I did it because my relationship with food was massively fucked up, I wasn't sad because of my parents divorce, I was sad bec